The countdown is on to the opening of the Someplace Safe Thrift Store on May 29^th, 2012, at its new location at 801 Co Rd 44 NW #114 (next to Casey’s gas station) in Alexandria.

Someplace Safe staff and volunteers are hard at work moving and setting up the new Thrift Store. Generous donations from the community are being accepted Monday – Friday from 10:30am-1:30pm at the new location, and are coming in steadily.

“We are extremely excited to see the store take shape in its new location, and cannot wait to welcome the public,” says store manager Karen Schuneman. “The store is going to be fabulous, and creates such an incredible opportunity to help support victims and survivors of crime in our area, for both Someplace Safe and the larger community.”

The public can look forward to new merchandise and daily sales, as well as new opportunities to get involved at the store and with Someplace Safe. Beginning May 29^th, store hours in the new location will be 10am-5pm Monday – Friday, and 10am-3pm Saturdays. Donations will be accepted daily from 10:30am-2:30pm, or by appointment during business hours.

If you are interested in volunteering at the Thrift Store or have other questions about the move or the store in general, please contact Karen at karen.s@someplacesafe.info or call the store at 320-763-4677. You can also visit the Thrift Store page on our website, or follow the Someplace Safe Thrift Store on Facebook for updates and more.

Someplace Safe Thrift Store Mission

We exist as a viable cornerstone to raise funds and awareness for Someplace Safe services, engage communities, recycle usable goods, and provide employment and volunteer opportunities.

Join Someplace Safe and others across the U.S. for National Denim Day on April 25 by wearing denim and helping to spread the word that there is No Excuse for Sexual Violence! Get your PLEDGE FORM HERE!

Denim Day is a campaign to prevent sexual violence through education and public awareness.  April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and Denim Day is a call to action for all people to come together by wearing denim as a visible sign of protest against sexual violence. By participating in Denim Day, you can play a role in the prevention of sexual violence. Every year we ask community members, elected officials, businesses and students to make a social statement with their fashion and on April 25th to wear jeans as a visible means of protest against misconceptions that surround sexual assault.

Why Denim Day?

An 18-year old girl is picked up by her married 45-year old driving instructor for her very first lesson. He takes her to an isolated road, pulls her out of the car, wrestles her out of one leg of her jeans and forcefully rapes her. Threatened with death if she tells anyone, he makes her drive the car home. Later that night she tells her parents, and they help and support her to press charges. The perpetrator gets arrested and is prosecuted. He is convicted of rape and sentenced to jail.

He appeals the sentence. The case makes it’s all the way to the Italian Supreme Court. Within a matter of days the case against the driving instructor is overturned, dismissed, and the perpetrator released. In a statement by the Chief Judge, he argued, “because the victim wore very, very tight jeans, she had to help him remove them, and by removing the jeans it was no longer rape but consensual sex.”

Enraged by the verdict, within a matter of hours the women in the Italian Parliament launched into immediate action and protested by wearing jeans to work. This call to action motivated and emboldened the California Senate and Assembly to do the same, which in turn spread to Patricia Giggans, Executive Director of Peace Over Violence, and Denim Day in LA was born. The first Denim Day in LA was in April 1999, and has continued every year since.

How Can You Help?

Wear denim on April 25th to help spread the message that There is No Excuse for Sexual Violence! Encourage your friends or coworkers to pledge $1 to Someplace Safe and help support victims and survivors locally! Get your pledge form HERE!

I was listening to the radio on my way to work today and they had a segment called “Group Therapy”.  During this segment, a caller can talk about a personal problem or dilemma on the radio and then ask for feedback.  The caller would then receive insight, personal opinions, and advice from the listeners as well as the radio host(s).  This morning, a mother called in because she had learned that her 16-year-old daughter was having sex and she didn’t know how to approach the conversation for fear of an argument or the daughter pulling away from her.

Over the next twenty minutes, I heard some rather insightful comments.  Listeners talked about having trust, creating a safe environment for open communication, and making sure there is an honest dialogue instead of the mother talking at the daughter.  This is all great advice.  As a parents or guardians, many of us strive for this type of environment.  We all want our children to be able to talk to us about anything—no matter what.  I would add that it is rather difficult—and in some cases, too late—to start creating an open environment to talk about sex and sexuality when the child is 16-years-old.  The conversation needs to start much earlier.

There isn’t a magic age when all youth start going through puberty, figuring out their sexual identity, thinking about sex, or even experimenting with a partner.  This is why caring adults need to address age-appropriate teachable moments when the opportunity arises.   It starts with using the correct terms for body parts.  It continues with conversations about respecting each other’s body and asking permission for a hug.   This message continues with creating an environment where it is okay to vocalize not wanting a hug and everyone (including adults) will respect those wishes.  And when that age old question arises “Where do babies come from?” being ready to have that honest conversation—over and over.

Creating this environment early on opens the door for later conversations about sex, intimacy, and love.  If we don’t, children’s education will come from their peers and media, and it’s likely that it won’t be accurate or respectful.  We cannot afford to have children learn about sex, intimacy, and love from reality shows or music videos.  We can demand the change and create an environment where kids are receiving accurate information about sex and sexuality.  We can prevent sexual violence by countering the sexually harmful and exploitive messages in our culture.

In January, ground-breaking National Sexuality Education Standards were released.  These standards provide clear, consistent, and straightforward guidance on the minimum, core content for sexuality education that is developmentally- and age-appropriate for children.  Together, we can create an environment where youth define sex and relationships based on love, intimacy, and mutual respect.   Together, we can prevent sexual violence.

National Sexuality Education Standards: http://www.futureofsexed.org/fosestandards.html

This blog was written by MNCASA staff for the purpose of sharing.

April 16: Demand the Change by connecting with Someplace Safe, or your local crisis center, and considering ways that you can give back.

Today marks the beginning of National Volunteer Week, April 15-21, 2012.   This week is set aside for organizations to honor the individuals in their communities who have chosen to give back with a precious gift—their time.

While this is a time that agencies show their appreciation for the past year of individuals who have chosen to give back; you can connect with your local crisis center and learn more about the services they provide.  Maybe you don’t see yourself being the right “fit” to answer a crisis line.  Maybe you have never considered your talents and the positive impact you can have on your community.  But you can connect with your local crisis center and learn more about the services that are provided.  You can learn more about the impact sexual violence is having on your community.  You can learn about how or where support is needed AND you can consider what your role is in giving back.

How often do you think or hear, “There is just not enough time in the day”? Last year, at least 535 volunteers gave over 6,880 hours of their time to Someplace Safe!

You can choose to have a change of heart by start thinking and encouraging others to consider where there is time to demand the change.

To learn more about volunteering with Someplace Safe, visit our Volunteer page, contact your local office, or contact us at volunteer@someplacesafe.info today!

This blog was inspired by Liz at Alexandra House.

It is normal and natural for children to look to the adults in their life for to understand the difference between boys and girls.  Part of developing an identity includes finding answers to questions such as, “How are we the same?” and “How are we different?”  Children find answers to these questions through the verbal and nonverbal communication they see around them.  Hearing sexist jokes/comments or seeing examples of rigid gender roles contribute to children learning and then mimicking such inequalities.

It is our role as adults to help young people find healthy answers to questions that are grounded in gender equity.  When gender identity is developed based on equality and not at the expense of another person, we can raise a strong generation of individuals AND narrow the gap of inequality between genders.

You can inspire a change of heart and by doing so participate indemanding the change for our future generations.

April is also Child Abuse Prevention Month, a time to recognize that we can each play a part in promoting the social and emotional well-being of children and families in communities. For more information on keeping the children in your life safe, visit Prevent Child Abuse Minnesota, the National Parent Helpline, or Someplace Safe’s Resource & Information page.

As we work toward changing the social norms that foster sexual violence, it is important for communities to be engaged in this process.  Your local news media is an effective way to reach groups of people in your community with information and resources.  Local media plays a vital role in shaping social norms.  With their involvement, there can be a shift toward increasing awareness, changing attitudes and influencing behavior to start changing the harmful social norms that promote sexual violence.

Encourage your local newspaper and community to demand the change. Help your community start making links between social norms to the attitudes and behaviors that foster a sexually toxic environment.  Understanding the attitudes and behaviors that foster sexual violence brings us one step closer to preventing sexual violence.  Once we expose the sexually toxic environment, we all can work together to demand the change and replace these examples with an environment that is healthy, nurturing and equitable.

You can demand the change, and by doing so inspire a change of heart in your community.

Current messages addressing privacy reinforce ideas about individual and family privacy, fostering secrecy and silence.

The culture of silence around sexual violence fosters an environment that contributes to the normalizing sexual harm.  We live in a society in which no one wants to talk about sexual violence.  No one wants to hear about the harm that is created when someone is sexually violated.  We can’t even talk openly about happy, healthy, fulfilling, caring consensual sex, so how are we supposed to be able to talk about sexual violence?  Labeling sexual violence as “family matters” or even “personal matters” prevents survivors from coming forward.  It also allows those individuals who choose to perpetrate the harm to continue this behavior without accountability for the harm they caused.

Even though we know the people who choose to inflict this harm tend to be someone we know versus someone we don’t know, society still reinforces stranger danger messages.  So what happens when the person committing the act of sexual violence is a parent, partner, coach, neighbor, family member or some other person who was supposed to be trusted?  The social expectation of keeping “family” or “personal” matters private often silences the victim, and, in turn, open dialogue about sexual violence is prevented.   An important part of preventing sexual violence requires a shift in our culture, our environment, so that we can talk about it.

Spend the day thinking about privacy.  What you have learned about what should be considered a “private matter”?  Consider how the silence surrounding sexual violence reinforces public shame and stigma for victims who come forward.  Is it really safe for victims to come forward without being blamed for their victimization?

Traditional constructs of manhood include notions of domination, control, and risk-taking.  Social and peer pressure leaves little room for boys or men to be anything but what is limited by social norms.  The expectation for boys and men is to be control of every situation, be the leader, be tough and powerful, and to “wear the pants” in their relationships.  Social constructs of manhood do not allow a boy or man to be soft, gentle, or nurturing.  In fact, to be anything other than what is socially expected will come at a cost: being compared to a girl.

Have you ever heard “Stop crying like a girl” or “You throw like a girl”?  While the intention is to “toughen up” the boy, it also sends a very clear message that the worst thing a boy can be is a girl.

Spend the day thinking about the things that are presented as traditionally male roles in the media. How does this limit or harm men and boys? Does it benefit men and boys? What are the implications for male victims of sexual violence?

While women’s rights have come a long way from not being allowed to own property, vote, or even have the choice to use birth control, we still have a long way to go.  Society still reinforces limited roles for women.  Take a look at how women are portrayed in mainstream media.  What are the common images you see of women in music videos?  What “women’s roles” do you see reinforced on reality TV?   Or, how are women used in marketing campaigns?  By and large, the current portrayal of women in mainstream media reinforces subtle and overt messages that women are to act and be treated as sexual objects to be used and/or abused.

By making it normal to sexually objectify women, we send clear messages about women’s roles and value in our society.  These messages encourage girls to see themselves as sexual objects.  The value of women and girls is defined by our relationships to men, creating a dichotomy of those who have power and those who do not.  For boys, this sends messages early on that they have all the power, and that it is okay to treat girls and women as sexual objects.

Setting up such standards prevents us from having open and honest conversations about gender roles.  It prevents people from exploring who they are and how they self identify along the gender continuum.  It does not provide safe space for honest gender expression.

Spend the day focusing on what “type(s)” of women you see in mainstream media.  What messages do you receive about women’s value?  What are the implications for female victims of sexual violence?

Share some of your comments and thoughts with us on our Facebook or Twitter pages, and stay tuned for more ideas for thought and dialogue throughout April.

April brings an annual opportunity to focus awareness on sexual violence, the culture that perpetuates this violence, and its prevention. Our goal is to not only change the institutional policies and practices that support the behaviors we encounter every day, but also to change our cultural norms so that this type of behavior is not expected, accepted, or tolerated. Sexual Assault Awareness Month helps bring us together to make a loud and unified statement throughout Minnesota that the current status of women and children in our society is no longer acceptable.

In order to prevent sexual violence, we must identify, challenge, and change the attitudes and behaviors that foster an environment that allows such violence to occur. 30 Days of Demanding the Change is about taking the time during Sexual Assault Awareness Month to unpack the environment that fosters sexual violence and start focusing on solutions.  By promoting safe, healthy, and equitable relationships, we can prevent sexual violence in Minnesota.  Let’s spend the first week of Sexual Assault Awareness Month by critically thinking about how the 5 Root Causes of Sexual Violence contribute to the normalization of sexual harm.  Let’s get started!

Spend the day focusing on how and why violence has become normal in our culture and the ripple effect this has on sexual violence.

Violence is all around us.  It is portrayed in the music we listen to, the movies we watch, and even used as a marketing strategy to sell products.  Violence has become so normal that it is a form of entertainment for our enjoyment.  When violence is viewed as part of our everyday life, we become desensitized—we start allowing it to be tolerated and accepted as normal.

The ripple effect is that it interferes with our ability to express empathy toward the individuals who are experiencing violence.  Instead of focusing the attention on the person who chose to inflict harm, we start focusing our attention on the person who experienced the harm.  For example, the last time you heard about a sexual assault case, did you wonder what the victim did to be in that situation?  Or did you wonder what made that person think it was acceptable to sexually violate the victim?

Spend the day thinking about how you view violence.  When you see violence, how do you react?  Has the normalization of violence interfered with your ability to express empathy at times?

You can join us in April and demand the change. Go to Demand the Change for Children website to sign up and learn more about the action that has been happening throughout Minnesota.  You can also become more connected to what is happening locally by going to Someplace Safe’s Facebook site.  There will be numerous opportunities you can demand the change by supporting the events near you and across the state.  Last but not least, we will be celebrating on April 28th!  Whether you choose to leap with us online with posts, Twitter, following our blog or connecting with us locally; all action will take us one step closer to ending sexual violence in Minnesota.